Category: daily

gratitude journal

oh good morning!

i keep a gratitude journal, and it’s separate from my main daily journal (which i lovingly call “The Main Squeeze” on my journaling app, so that i don’t get confused).

i don’t post in the gratitude journal as often as i’d like to, but here are some real entries (from the past 3 weeks) for things i’m grateful for!

  • waking up early to do yoga on the rooftop, facing you.
  • r. telling me “hey rose, your ‘sad state’ is better than most people’s normal state :)”
  • met matt damon in my dreams last night, what?
  • the feeling when i’ve slept with my hair wet and i let it down in the morning and the curls fall everywhere around my face, like pillowy clouds
  • c. telling me that i’m his “sriracha soulmate”
  • s. sending me the menu of osteria francescana, which has lovely watercolors and now  i am dreaming of going to italy one day and eating there and meeting massimo

  • changed my work chat dock icon to a dancing Hobbes and it changed my life
  • when doorman exclaims as i go downstairs on my way to work after rolling out of bed and throwing random clothes on at 8 in the morning: “you look so incredibly beautiful! tell me what your secret is! you don’t even wear makeup!” me blushing and shaking my head.
  • the possible rain, the certainty that it will pass
  • the man playing the accordion on the subway platform that brought tears to my eyes
  • the 25 cent vending machine at work
  • mom and dad practicing juggling for exercise
  • t. telling me after reading my blog posts, and me being self-conscious of their recent length & subject: “they always seem too short, when you are the one writing.”
  • the wild chase for the m&m statue!
  • netflix
  • dairy substitutes
  • watching the galway girl scene over and over
  • my amazing, imperfect knees that still work after everything they’ve been through
  • avocados

 

have an incredible, gratitude-filled day.

 

lucky dragon

E. convinced me to try it as we sat in his living room one night, while eating chocolate-covered figs. He retrieved a Swiffer from the crowded broom closet and taught me how to paddle. He sat down next to me on the couch, handed me the Swiffer, and we pretended we were on a boat. I expressed my doubts. He shrugged and suggested that all the guys who do it are really fit and good-looking. The whole situation was comical, and I bought into it. I mean, there were chocolate-covered figs involved. Of course I was tricked!

The next day, he texted me at like 8:23am and asked, “You awake?”

Ugh. So I pulled on my stupid tiny bike shorts and geeky waterproof shoes to trudge downstairs for my first dragon boat practice. We arrived at the World’s Fair Marina, already drenched in sweat. The heat was nearly unbearable, even for me(!) I felt my hair immediately growing lighter, my skin growing darker.

We got on the water. I felt like I couldn’t breathe after every run. But E. was right in the end. All the common suffering buoyed us, and I just reminded myself what he promised (tricked?) me: “Yeah, it seems like you’re doing to die and you won’t make it through the sprint. But TRUST ME it will make you forget all the suffering your heart is going through.”

… yeah. sho’ did. For a hot minute.

***

Before we went out on the water, the very fit and good-looking guy in front of me (that part wasn’t 100% a lie) turned around while the boat was still docked and introduced himself.

“Hi, I’m Jack,” he said.

“Hi, I’m Rose,” I replied.

“Oh man. It’s like… Titanic! We met on a boat together!” he ventured, grinning. Which makes this the first time in history a guy has initiated the cheesy part of the Titanic reference with utter sincerity. “Just promise me you’ll never let go.”

You really can’t make this up, even if you wanted to.

So yeah, um. After that, I paddled the sh*t out of that race, my eyes following his paddle the whole time (I got lectured later about the difference between paddling and rowing).

That evening, my roommate brought home a whole bag of Jamaican sweet currant rolls and asked if I wanted any. I told myself, I deserve this.

And yes, I believe I do. I deserve this life. My heart sure will go on.

You can’t have everything at once. But give me one of each: the sun on my face, the water, a way to paddle to another shore, and the ability to write myself out of any storm.

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double entendres

from the book i’m reading today:

The Latin word finis has two meanings: (1) the end or the finish, and (2) a goal to reach.

!!! and my post from exactly one year ago: the definition(s) of withdraw.