I am watching a couple slow dance precariously and laugh together while losing balance on the subway. The man sitting next to me is wearing a cowboy hat and reading Vonnegut. The sun was splitting the empty skies open with its orange before I went underground. The world will be defiant, you know, even in the face of so much confusion and despair. It remains throbbing with hope, or it (we) wouldn’t exist.
Month: July 2015
funny thing about salt. it makes things so sticky.
The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea. – Isak Dinesen
a few attempts and some happy failures this week:
– to avoid cream cheese frosting. followed closely by “who am i kidding?” and devouring it, of course.
– to nonchalantly (and maybe coyly) pretend like i wasn’t going to swim in freezing northeastern rivers, but of course jumping 5 minutes later.
– to faithfully try to be as Beyoncé-like as possible on 7/11.
– to not sing loudly along with the mariachis belting out “Besame Mucho” at the subway station. they caught me shyly mouthing the words.
– to become a rockstar at walking in high heels after a dismal demonstration in Europe (i can already dance backwards in them, why the hell not?)
– to not turn to mush while watching a couple dance down the wooden dock to the sound of Rascal Flatts. turning, of course, to mush anyway.
– to stubbornly try to have conviction about listening to my head instead of my heart. i woke up two hours ago today (too early), still rather steady in my conviction. i made some tea. heart peeking (peaking!) out quietly (knowingly) in the end, recognizing the tiny beginnings of yet another triumph. the sun was rising. my friend Traci once wrote:
“It’s that easy. It’s dangerous how quickly I let go of things. With how much force I pick things up.
And then, of course, is what sticks around. In spite of me letting it go. That we call love.”
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P.S. this is my 1,000th post here!