in the past few weeks,
i’ve tried to document every single happy thing that happened. mostly in my mind, or in my scribbled notes. there were too many things to write down. but i will never forget.
for the first time since march, i ran.
i did something different. i sprinted as fast as i could. then i stopped. then i sprinted as fast as i could. then i stopped.
and i remembered what you told me about sports, and short and long muscles, and how you were impressed that i know track terminology and bowling terminology and billiards terminology and football terminology.
i thought about all the people and stories that led to me knowing something about something i actually know nothing about.
i remembered when i couldn’t run a mile.
i remember when i ran 6, and collapsed on the steps of the texas capitol, pleading G. for an apple
i remember when i ran 11
i remember when i ran 13.1
i remember when i stopped running and when i started.
i remember when b. told me i’m a fast runner
i remember when someone told me i have fast pickup
i never would have thought my short stubby legs would be called fast.
i remember first seeing chaturanga and thinking, “i am never going to be able to do that.” now i do it for every vinyasa, and even an extra one into downward dog. i remember seeing forearm stands and thinking they were impossible. and now i know it feels like floating.
and i love thinking about these memories and remembering that things can change. that if you spend your life saying “i never,” then you’ll be right, you’ll never. but once you do it, you will have done it, and it’s as simple as that. not really that simple. but you’ll see, when you do it. and say to yourself, “today, i can.”